I've brought my mum pillow. It's very old, as you can see. It probably doesn't smell great, but my daughter gave this to me not long before we got moved from London. We literally had a phone call and were told that we had to up and leave. We didn't have any idea where we were going. We just got told to get to Kings Cross and my tickets would be there and we ended up in Canterbury.
Yeah, it was a bit of an up and down kind of roller coaster. But this pillow is a bit of home that I brought with me. As you can see, it's very tatty. It comes everywhere with me and I sleep on it every single night. I can't sleep without it. It's quite weird, but for years, I've probably cried a million tears into it. I do pretty much just cry on it, and then I'm OK after that. Happy and sad I suppose. It's very special to me. Everyone always says to me, "Can't you get a new one? Look at the state of it." And I'm like no, this is the one that’s a home away from home. This is my comfort.
I haven't been that bad recently. I have kind of come out of myself. I had really bad mental health issues. I tried to commit suicide. In the past I wouldn’t even talk, I’d kind of wait. I wouldn’t have done things that I do now.
Kids are the main thing. A lot of the kids around here end up at my house. They tend to come and sit in the front garden. Wherever I have lived, I’ve always had that extra child. Even in the refuge, I’ve always had extra children hanging around me and they always called me mum as well. When I lived in London, I was Mama Charlie. And hugs, everyone always comes to me for hugs. I didn't realise that. That's probably one of the main things. Kids run up to me and give me a hug.
The more I thought about it, this is something that's very special to me without me realizing how special it was, until you asked me to bring a piece of me.
My daughter made me a box for Christmas with envelopes inside that I have to open if I'm sad or if I'm angry or if I can't sleep. One of them says, "Your superpower is that nobody else is you." And I feel like this pillow would probably say something like that if it could.
